Holidays as a Single or Empty Nest Mom 

Finding Light in the Darkness

    My first Christmas alone was overwhelming. I had never spent the holiday by myself. Growing up in a family of eight, Christmas was always a time when, no matter how chaotic life felt, we came together. As a mom, I worked hard to create that same sense of connection for my own children—and for anyone else who needed it.

    With my children over the years, our family’s annual Christmas party became a cherished tradition. It all began with an invitation to a new family in town and grew over two decades to include as many as 80 or 90 people. Christmas was our time to celebrate, give, and welcome others with open arms.

    But during my first Christmas in the midst of a harsh divorce, everything changed. My adult children, uncertain about how to navigate the “elephant in the room,” pulled away, leaving me to face the holiday alone. I couldn’t bring myself to set up a single decoration. The tree sat in its box, untouched, just five days before Christmas.

    Scrolling through social media one evening, I came across a post from a local group about a women’s shelter in need of holiday decorations. I glanced at the seven bins of Christmas decor in my living room and thought, "Why am I holding onto all this?" I reached out to the shelter and offered to donate anything they needed.

    What started as a simple donation turned into a transformative moment. I began sorting through the bins, keeping only the most sentimental or irreplaceable items and placing everything else—lights, garlands, tableware, and festive decor—into separate bins for donation. The process stirred happy memories of my children and past Christmases. By the end, I had reduced my collection to two bins and prepared five full bins to bring to the shelter.

    When I delivered the decorations, I asked if I could volunteer at their holiday event. Truthfully, I wanted an excuse to skip the well-meaning but pity-filled invitations from friends. Serving at the shelter turned out to be the best gift I could have given myself. That evening, I found comfort in helping others, and over the next year, I continued volunteering whenever I felt myself slipping into sadness.

    Clearing out the old, making room for new traditions, and serving others gave me a sense of purpose I had been missing. If you find yourself alone this season, I encourage you to do the same. Let go of what weighs you down, and open your heart to the joy that comes from giving and creating new connections.

Warmest wishes to you,
Didi